News Quiz USA

http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2012/mar/12/radio-4-news-quiz-us



Isn't The US version of News Quiz "Wait Wait.. Don't Tell me?"

http://www.npr.org/programs/wait-wait-dont-tell-me/



If Lewis Black is doing this instead of Sandi Toksvig I would expect it to be a lot more profane and bloodthirsty than the UK version and way WAY too brutal for US poltical satire (on radio anyway - NPR? you must be joking)

Leicester was quite boring...

.. people were lovely but the town was a bit lacking (quite 'Detroit') and my mind often wandered.. 

I was explaining to a young spurs fan the other day how Tottenham might yet do well this year - as Manchester City haven't spectacularly collapsed in a while.

He scoffed at the suggestion. This was a new City, full of talent organisation and resolve instilled by their Italian manager Roberto Mancini

It's true, they are packed full of talent and a bankrolled by a family than controls apparently 10% of the worlds remaing supply of oil. it is only a matter of time before they conquer every arena in football. But they still remain Manchester City and it is in their DNA to have at at least two more Biblical screw ups on their way. Roberto Mancini's cool italian will just trail off into disbelief, because when the wheels next come off this giant panjandrum a soundtrack by Henry Mancini will sound more appropriate.

My young friend only had memories that go back to Newcastle United level fuck ups and collapses.  When that great Geordie Circus starts to go wrong (King Kev and its sequel) it has a real element of tragedy, like a good Woody Allen film. When City goes wrong it's like a Naked Gun sequel directed by Cecile B Demile.

(see Alan Ball, theatre of base comedy etc etc)

How, from here, does this team, which thrashed United 6-1 at their most recent meeting go wrong?

Well the characters are all their waiting for the storyline to coalesce around them. A large collection of the best players from second tier teams that have won nothing are sprinkled liberally with some timeless comedy genius. Headbanger matrial artist Nigel De Jong, who tried to kick a Spanish players head off in a world cup final, serial sulk and Mutley look alike Carlos Tevez, ex footballer turned millionaire sofa pilot Wayne Bridge.

And Super Mario, who it is actually very difficult to wish ill of as his antics have apparently captured the hearts of even United fans.

The fugitive Italian is misunderstood in Italy apparently but 100% understood in Britain's north west. 'Daft' probably translates into Italian as 'mentally ill ' but in large parts of what was Lancashire it is a valid lifestyle option, in the way that 'dandy' or more recently'Sloan' might apply in London.

Mancunians love Mario Ballotelli because they have known and loved his like before. George Formby, Norman Wisdom, Frank Sidebottom.... Bez.... All cool in a particular Lancastrian style that looks so appropriate to Super Mario you would think Franny Lee discovered him doing keepy uppy football tricks in The Pheonix club.

It will be a tragedy for Ballotelli when his team blows up, with a great comedy fart noise, in some future football final but he is essentially a great player as well as a comedian, and the real laughs at that point will come from the uncomprehending stare and gestures of Mario's straight man and manager. Much of the Norths existenial meaning and Manchester City's place in the cosmos will be lost until "Bobby Manc" learns what Daft is.

(I feel compelled to add that the aforementioned 6-1 thrashing started with a brilliant goal from senior Ballotelli)

Sent (direct from the drunken notes) of my iPhone

J-Rock just off Electric Avenue

No photos remain of the trip to see BO NINGEN + Sekaiteki Na Band + Teta Mona at the Windmill in Brixton but suffice to say it was a great venue and a great night out.

Bo Ningen was the headliner, a raving psych guitar band. I actually preffered Sekaiteki Na Band, a slightly more garage band outfit with some of the best lead guitar work I've ever seen. Teta Mona was fun.

At no point was I bored throughout any of the bands and would go a long way to see them again. I am a confirmed J-Rock fan (or maybe it's just reignited - see the review of Shonen Knife in my ancient Reading review on here somewhere)

Picture is of Electric Avenue packing up from the Overground station

Slivers of Today

The Guardian is making me feel like Alf Garnet, or at least, another relic from another age, Austin Powers. In my futile over-friendly first week I almost jumped into a conversation about the foyer (see above) with a remark about the aesthetic desirability of a couple of Fem-Bots in furry bikinis to really complete the scene, but then considered the audience in The Guardian office and wisely (for once) kept my mouth shut.
Being in your mid 40s is mostly plusses. Personal fixations recede into the background, everything is much more chilled and in perspective. You do your own thing and enjoy it a lot more etc etc. This is all partly because The End is just over the horizon and you want to get as much in as possible.
However there is an inevitable Slowing Down and the challenge of the 40s is handling that without completely giving up and metaphorically climbing into the coffin decades early.
On a physical level a good friend got me into running, which I now do at a very low level (ten minutes jog around the block) as often as I can. Makes a huge difference phyiscally and mentally.

(Thanks Kathryn).

Attitude is vital. With the world and the media getting seemingly ever more remote it is a real effort to not give up and turn into a bitter and twisted old fart railing at the world from the sidelines. With this in mind I've been keeping an eye on what exactly is pushing me down that route and how I can slow it down.
What is the main thing turning me old before my time? Radio 4's The Today Programme.
Don't get me wrong, I love it. Funny, smart it is just about the best current affairs show on any channel anywhere and makes me proud to be British. When I was in my 30s it made me look forward to growing old. "Old people can be that cool! Awesome! Can't wait to get there"
The Today Show really is a British instititution, as wierd as the The Shipping Forecast , but apparently as powerful as the admiralty. You wouldn't say it makes you glad to be alive but it does make you glad to be British. 

I know its setting an attitude in my head. Private Eye is the same. A daily route of waking up to one and reading the other on the lav is preparing in my head a bitter, cynical death march to the grave. The presenters do their best but the news content tends to create a mood of suicidal anger before you've even set off for work.
So, now I've moved temporaily into my London pad on Grays Inn Road (full report next time, if I have't been moved out) I found a radio tuned to a different channel and have just stuck with it. Another big help was a trip to see three fantastic J-Rock bands.. BO NINGEN + Sekaiteki Na Band + Teta Mona in a fantastic venue, The Windmill Brixton.. completely re-ignited my interested in live music. (Thanks Richard)
The music radio station is BBC Radio 6, which at least in the morning (before LL), turns out to be at least as aggravting (Shaun Keaveny, what a p**k) as The Today Show, but here is the big reveal - morning radio is meant to be background noise. It's meant to be barely audible content that isn't distracting you from getting your shit and your head together for work. You shouldn't be ranting at Thought For The Day beacuse you should be brushing your teeth.
The Today Show is really for people whose 'Today' probably won't involve leaving the house.
So how do you enjoy Today without it turning into a daily sliver of death taken just after you wake up from sleep? The answer, not for the first time recently, is podcasts  (see my last post). You can ingest Today in little doses via the Best of Today podcast, and like Rasputin with Cyanide, you can slowly build up an immunity.

Ohh yes. you're thinking ...Mid -life crisis? They said that when my hair started thinning in '89, they said that when I bought the Triumph Trident in '94, they said that when I got the TT in 2008. I've been living in a perpetual mid-life crisis for over 30 years...It's what keeps me interested

Beyond The Wall of Sleep 1

It occurred to me this morning... because it was mentioned on the
Today program.. that I've not heard the Shipping forecast for at least
six months

the daily routine for the last 15-20 years has been
asleep at 10-11pm
woke up between 3.30-5am
then hours listening in the dark to
Shipping Forecast
Prayer for the day
Radio 5 5am news bulletin
Radio 5 5.30 Wake up to Money (Wake Up to Monetarism would be more accurate)
which gets me nice and angry for

Radio 4 Today show at 6am

and if I'm really lucky I get a ten minute late snooze in at 7ish
which makes me late for work

so for the first four hours of every morning I was incredibly
depressed. This was such a drag I was thinking of creating a website
called Hour of The Wolf that people could refer to instead of lying in
bed thinking of suicide options at the start of every day
In contrast, what a difference an Ipod, good Seinhauser inner ear buds
and some free podcasts have made.

Last night I slept heavily from 9.45 to 6.45 with three ten minute breaks
12.45am woke, put Ipod on The Times football podcast with 15 min sleep
timer, I was out in ten minutes
2.00am repeat of the above
3.45am same as above but 30 min sleep timer (lasted 15) and ESPN
soccernet podcast
woke at 6.45 not thinking about soccer but Fantastic Four comics

I've found that playing the podcasts through a speaker is less
effective than inner ear ear buds as they also cut out the outside
noise. Also routing the earphone cables around the back of your neck
helps prevent snags that can wake you in the night.
I've trained myself so well in this I've actually taken my favourite
podcasts off the overnight routine because I keep sleeping through
them! I've also become so dependent on great sleep I carry two ipods
around with me and two sets of headphones in case of problems.

and also worth mentioning.. I wouldn't sleep at all without some form
of 10-30 minute walk every day

Blog update

Where have I been? Not anywhere too exotic - Croydon and Kings Cross

Who have I been working for? Therein lies a tale..

Before Christmas the last contract in Leicester was driving me a little crazy, and after two interviews in London in one day I was given a straight immediate choice between two new contracts in the new year. 

AIG (Croydon), the huge insurance conglomerate formerly specialising in credit default swaps and bailed out twice by the US taxpayer

or 

The Guardian Newspaper (York Way, Kings Cross)

I would have taken the latter immediately but was asked to go for a second interview, and desperate as I was to get something nailed down (in the face of what looked like imminent global economic meltdown) I accepted the AIG offer to start in the New Year.

Forced to start first day back, I sat in post xmas traffic for six hours on the A303 and began to have second thoughts about that Guardian second interview. When I got to AIG Croydon and found, such was their rush to get me in, that there was no actual written contract in place.. I arranged for that second interview. For a while it looked like I would have to go for a third interview and when AIG caught on it seemed like I'd end up with no job and subsequently blacklisted in the industry, but luckily my new employers, Guardian Media Group, were able to give me a month at AIG before I needed to start. This took a great deal of the heat out of the situation and I was able to leave Croydon after a month with some happy people (though I've not been paid yet)

So whats the Guardian like? Well I'm up on 2nd Floor with the IT Crowd. The journos are down on 1st and it all looks very open plan and fragrant but a bit sterile. Wierdly with it's business, friendliness, general activity and slight scent of dried sweat 2nd floor seems more like what I expected from a real newspaper office.

Like being in the design museum

Meeting rooms that can't be booked - one person meeting room that looks like a sensory deprivation chamber

Only thing wrong so far is that the nearest Pret isn't as friendly as the one in Croydon. Croydon was a lesson worth remembering. First week or so felt like living in London post industrial collapse, but after very slight move to different accom across town (South Croydon) it all end up very pleasant. Nice people too. I'll miss it.

The symbol of the disgusting excess of the noughties

Very busy December ends with goodbye to Leicester and new contracts for 2012 in London. Detail to follow. I have been writing, just not posting. I'm now in Croydon.


Friday night I moved from the scary art deco scrapyard shankiness of the Norfolk House hotel on the road to Brixton - to the South Park hotel in the leafy South Croydon, right near station -  until 20th when I hope I'll have a flat. Very good news jobwise. Seven months of work in London in prospect.


Saturday morning, very chilled morning with laid back train from sleepy leafy South Croydon Station - sudden desire to listen to chilled iPod music (Marvin Gaye!  i've got THAT old, and that laid back).... This is music instead of podcasts, somehow a big leap forward - I've been jamming my mind with podcasts for about 2 years so long to stop myself thinking.


Meant to go seriously shopping but just wandered around west end with big smile. Eventually had Time Out plus London Pride plus Jamesons in The Ship in a state of almost Tibetan contentment. 


I was around last year but was so busy rarely left Whitehall and Wembley. This year, in the West End, with the copy of time out and some beer in me suddenly I felt connected. Somehow Time Out magazine is very important, giving you instant connectivity to the London social scene. It's a friendly invite somehow, like a cheap Glastonbury program. 


Walking around Oxford street Soho, West End on Saturday.. It looked a bit better than when I left in 2009, with all the bookshops closing. If you think I'm being optimistic you should see some of the regional places - Barnstaple and especially Leicester are starting to looking quite "Detroit"


Biggest shock was in Top Man. I've left my jogging shorts at home so for the first time in my life thought - "hey I could run in cargo pants" - so armed with the sickly realisation that I actually wanted cargo pants I thought I could pick some up cheap..


All The cargo pants have gone. That is the difference between pre crash world of idiot excess and the post-economic apocalypse scenario we live in now, 
CARGO PANTS
The symbol of the disgusting excess of the noughties